ICF Core Competency #5: Maintains Presence

We wrote this series of songs because the ICF Core Competencies eventually stopped feeling like concepts to master and started feeling like experiences to live.

After years of coaching sessions, recordings, mentor coaching, and our own growth as coaches, we wanted to reflect what these competencies actually feel like in the room—not just how they’re described on paper.

This song, “Stay With Me Here,” is inspired by ICF Core Competency #5 — Maintains Presence.

What Presence Really Looks Like in Coaching

Presence is one of those things clients sense immediately. You can’t fake it. You can’t manufacture it. And no amount of technique can replace it.

Maintaining presence isn’t about being calm all the time.
It isn’t about sounding confident.
And it definitely isn’t about always knowing what to say next.

Presence is about being fully here—open, grounded, emotionally regulated, and willing to stay with whatever is unfolding in the moment.

Some of the most meaningful coaching moments don’t come from a powerful question. They come from a pause. From stillness. From not rushing the conversation forward.

Learning to Let Silence Work

Early in my coaching journey, I thought being helpful meant being active.

Talking more.
Reflecting quickly.
Keeping things moving.

And for a while, that worked. It gave coaching structure. It gave me confidence.

But over time, I noticed something.

The deepest moments didn’t happen when I filled the space.
They happened when I stopped filling it.

That realization became the heart of this song:

I used to talk over the silence
Fill up every gap with sound
But when I let the quiet settle
That’s when you come around

Silence can feel uncomfortable—especially when you care and want to help. When you feel responsible for progress.

Maintaining presence asks something different. It asks the coach to notice that discomfort—and not act on it.

Not Fixing Is Part of Presence

One of the hardest parts of maintaining presence is managing what’s happening inside the coach.

When a client is emotional, uncertain, or stuck, the urge to fix can be strong. Fixing might sound like advice. Or reassurance. Or jumping to the next question too quickly.

Presence often sounds like this:

I don’t have to fix a thing

That line isn’t about disengagement.
It’s about trust.

Trust that the client doesn’t need rescuing.
Trust that the moment doesn’t need improving.
Trust that staying grounded is enough.

Being Willing Not to Know

ICF names this directly: being comfortable working in a space of not knowing.

In real coaching, that means letting go of where you think the conversation should go. It means staying with what’s here, even when there’s no clear next step.

The bridge of the song names that experience:

I don’t need to know what comes next
Just this—
The moment as it is

When a coach can stay there, something subtle often happens:

If I’m quiet long enough
You breathe

That breath tells you everything. The pace shifts. The nervous system settles. Something real has space to emerge.

Presence Is About Staying

The chorus isn’t about breakthrough or insight. It’s about staying.

Stay with me here, don’t run ahead
Let the noise inside your head
Fall away, there’s nothing wrong

This is what presence offers: permission to slow down without being pushed toward change.

At deeper levels of coaching, the work shifts from doing something to the client to being someone the client can slow down with.

No rush.
No agenda.
Just grounded companionship in the present moment.

A Reflection for Coaches

When silence shows up in your sessions, do you trust it—or do you feel the need to fill it?

Maintaining presence isn’t something we add to coaching.
It’s something we stop interrupting.

And when presence is there, clients don’t just gain insight.
They breathe differently.
They hear themselves more clearly.

That’s why Core Competency #5 matters so much.

Lyrics: Stay With Me Here

Inspired by ICF Core Competency #5 — Maintains Presence

Verse 1
I used to talk over the silence
Fill up every gap with sound
But when I let the quiet settle
That’s when you come around

Chorus
Stay with me here, don’t run ahead
Let the noise inside your head
Fall away, there’s nothing wrong
The river keeps us moving on
Stay with me here

Verse 2
Your coffee going cold on the table
Time just hanging in between
I don’t have to fix a thing
If I’m quiet long enough
You breathe

Bridge
I don’t need to know what comes next
Just this—
The moment as it is

Final Chorus / Outro
Stay with me here, take it slow
We’ll find our way as we go
trust the current and let go
Stay with me here
Stay with me

Lyrics by Ruthie Slingerland, MCC & Jamie Slingerland, MCC

This song is part of a larger series we created, with one original song inspired by each of the ICF Core Competencies, and you can explore the full collection here

https://freedomlifejourney.com/category/icf-core-competecy-songs/