Over the last 10 years of coaching leaders, I’ve noticed a recurring pattern when it comes to giving effective feedback. More often than not, the real challenge isn’t poor performance—it’s the mindset of the person receiving the feedback.

Specifically, the difference between a “Knower” mindset and a “Learner” mindset.

What a “Knower” Mindset Looks Like

A person operating from a Knower mindset tends to:

• Lack curiosity about others and their perspectives

• Prioritize being right over being helpful

• Dismiss new ideas without truly considering them

• Ask questions mainly to defend their own views

A Knower believes they already have the answers.
And because of that, they resist new information, new approaches, and new feedback—even when it’s meant to help them grow.

What a “Learner” Mindset Looks Like

By contrast, a Learner mindset is open, curious, and adaptable.

Fred Kofman, in his book Conscious Business, highlights that people who embrace a learner mindset are constantly growing because they stay receptive to new ideas, perspectives, and possibilities.

Learners ask questions to understand—not to win.
They take feedback as an opportunity, not a threat.
They see growth as part of their identity, not as a judgment of their worth.

How Leaders Can Redirect a Knower Mindset

If you lead people, you’ve likely experienced how a Knower mindset can derail a feedback conversation.
The good news is: you can redirect it.

Great leaders tend to do three things well:

1. Name What You’re Seeing

Be honest and grounded:

“I’m finding it harder to lead you because I’m not seeing curiosity from you.”

This isn’t criticism—it’s clarity.

2. Invite Them Back Into Growth

Ask questions that draw them toward learning, not defending:

• “What might you be missing here?”

• “What would this look like if you approached it with curiosity?”

• “What’s the opportunity in this feedback?”

These kinds of questions reopen the conversation.

3. Hold the Standard

Curiosity isn’t optional for people who want to grow.
Without a learner mindset, performance improvement stalls.

As a leader, part of your job is helping people re-engage with openness so they can get back on track.

Leaders Grow When Their Mindsets Grow

Performance issues are often downstream of mindset issues.
When a team member shifts from Knower to Learner, everything changes—communication, collaboration, innovation, and their willingness to take ownership.

Mindset work is leadership work.

If You Struggle With These Conversations, Coaching Helps

Helping people shift out of defensiveness and into curiosity is a skill leaders must develop. If these conversations feel draining or unproductive, you’re not alone—many high-performing leaders experience the same thing.

A coach can help you:

• communicate feedback with more confidence

• navigate defensiveness with clarity

• strengthen your leadership presence

• build teams that learn instead of resist

If you want support in becoming a more grounded, influential leader, I’d be glad to help.